The disclaimer for this post is a stereotypical one about how wonderful it is to change young lives by exposing them to new thought patterns, by working for that moment when you can see the light bulb go off, etc. etc. etc. You can probably guess, so I won't write it out. But I will say that teaching is truly one of the most rewarding things you can do with your life, and I really don't know how I'll ever be anything else.
That being said, I know the day will come when I have to walk away from education. I started as an aide for the child care center that's attached to the school where I work. I quickly became a preschool teacher, and moved from there to running the Aftercare program. Finally, after graduating college, I started teaching foreign language to the elementary students. My position was changed yet again this year when an opening in the upper school (5th - 8th grades) was offered to me. I couldn't be happier teaching this age group. I've had this emptiness in my life since I left my old church where I spent a significant amount of time as a youth mentor/leader. I watched the lives of those kids change, and all the late-night sleepovers and convention trips and holding teenage girls while they cried their hearts out was worth it. I left that church, however, because as I got older I saw the truth in the direction they were headed, and decided to follow Christ instead. In the years after I struggled to find my place in ministry; people would ask all the cliche questions about where my life was headed, what were God's plans for me, etc. I always felt like there was some direction for me lying right around the corner, but could never say "Yeah. This _____________ is what's next." It became very clear to me at the beginning of the school year that this is what's next. That attending private school doesn't mean these kids are any less lost than the rest, any less hurting, any less starved for someone to simply understand them. Finally, that empty space once occupied by making a difference is filled.
While it's all fantastic, I have the gut-wrenching feeling that it's only temporary, and it saddens me deeply. I once was venting my frustrations to some coworkers about teaching 6th grade math. Despite all my best efforts - using the Smartboard, doing physical math, visual illustrations, practice tests, after-school tutoring - some of these students simply don't understand. A fellow teacher looked at me and said, "Sometimes, that's all you can do." For years I refused to accept this travesty - how nauseating to think that someone is "unteachable." I've always believed that everyone can reach any given plane of understanding - it's just finding the means to get there. My naivety has recently given way to reality, and while I retain a faint glimmer of hope that it can be done, I am fully aware that you can only do so much.
I don't mean academically. I mean socially and behaviorally. Middle schoolers might be the most impressionable organisms on the planet. And while we try and try and sacrifice all of our time and patience, it all comes down to reinforcement. If at any given school a student is exposed to loving relationships and is taught how to be kind, generous and humble, he or she will only retain that information if these ideas are reinforced at home. Ten years ago (and yes, I can speak from experience) the parents involved in their children's educations were supportive. They allowed their children to make mistakes, because that is, after all, how we learn best. If a teacher approached them about their child's misbehavior, we were assured that there would be appropriate consequences at home. Sadly, and to the disappointment of anyone who's concerned in any way about the future of our nation, those days are long gone. As we move into the era of entitlement, each generation becomes progressively more self-seeking. Parents now defend the behavior of their children, regardless of the severity. A child screaming at the top of his lungs during an educational presentation "just because he felt like it" is not to be considered "wrong" - it is merely him "expressing himself according to his cultural norms." Disrupting the class, then, is now the norm. Children who judge, boss, and bully others are excused as "emerging leaders." Parents will lie for their students to prevent the fitting consequences. Children who arbitrarily display physical violence toward others are always, always, ALWAYS "provoked." (Really?! Because I just saw your child walk across the room and twist that little boy's arm until he cried for no reason.) Per friends who work in local centers, correction is no longer an option; behavior (we can't call it "bad" anymore) that is disruptive or dangerous is now "redirected." (Look, I know you just punched that little girl in the face, but here are some Legos to distract you/reinforce your horrendous behavior with, since you love to play. Enjoy.)
WHAT is happening?! For one, parents don't trust educators anymore. I understand that none of us are perfect... but we get paid in beans, and it's one of the hardest jobs on earth. Do you really think any of us took this job just to make your student's life miserable? I can't tell you how many parents call and complain about their student's grades when CLEARLY, phone call after phone call, detention after detention, their student hasn't been performing at his or her best. Missing homework, goofing off in class, relying on parents to do their work and, in doing so, bombing in-class assessments - um, yeah. Your student's not gonna get an "A". But when it's a C or D (or worse) on the report card, somehow it's our fault. We "don't like" their student; we "never gave him/her a chance"; or, my personal favorite, "he/she just wasn't challenged enough in your class. He/she is bored." These are the times I'm sure I will be bald by 30 from pulling my own hair out.
But I digress. Back to behavioral issues. With most of America more sue-happy than ever, no administration in the country wants to say "no" to a parent. One wrong move and you're being subpoenaed. No one wants to accept that their child is wrong; and so, as educators, we take the fall. An unruly student screaming at the top of his lungs while I teach algebra? Deal with it. A child bossing others around and then experiencing loneliness? My problem. Students who are blatantly disrespectful to everyone they cross paths with? Shh, don't say anything to their parents. "Who cares that my child bit her classmate and drew blood? It must be your classroom management."
It couldn't possibly be that America's moral compass is disappearing entirely. It couldn't be related to the fact that we're raising the upcoming generation to believe that the government, or the rest of society, owes them their fortune. It couldn't be that kids watch us sit on our behinds and live off assistance while contributing nothing to our community.
Hm.
I just spent 6 days camping with some of my students in PA at an awesome outdoor education facility. I saw parent chaperones doing their student's work for them, texting in the middle of devotional time, making derogatory comments about other students, interrupting instructors in the middle of class to (erroneously) correct them in front of the kids, talking loudly with their students during instructional time, shouting/grabbing food/making demands instead of asking politely at the dinner table... I was hoping that Michael Douglas was hiding in the woodwork and waiting to come out to tell me I was being filmed for a movie with a similar concept to "The Game." It felt like an experiment gone horribly wrong. (And let me just note that I have the patience of a saint.) And therein lies the secret to you can only do so much - setting a decent example avails to nothing when what you're doing is completely undone at home.
And that, friends, is why I won't be retiring from a teaching job. Not just parents, but the general laziness/self-centeredness of the nation as a whole. The educational spectrum has moved from one extreme to the other without any middle ground. As soon as we stopped spanking children in school, we started serving them un-earned promotion on a silver platter. Yes, we need to let our kids know how wonderful they are. Of course we need to boost their self-esteem. But (and you can call me old-fashioned) I firmly believe that they need to be taught respect. They need to be exposed to their own weaknesses in order to turn them into strengths. I have so much more to say, but since I'm sure it would be just as unorganized as the rest of this post, I will simply leave you with what I consider the greatest criticism of modern education to date:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
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